It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
