Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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