I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I need a beard to bite.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
