you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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