STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
