Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
