I skipped work to stalk him.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
