I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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