I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
