i already hear my dad disowning me
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
