her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sorry about my life...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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