I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I intend to get homeless drunk
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize