didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
