I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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