I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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