you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
