I am spending my child support on dildos
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
