Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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