I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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