I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
