Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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