Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
