I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
