OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
