Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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