there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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