So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
