I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
