I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
