I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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