Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
