CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
