I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
