I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
