I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
