Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
