this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
