Those balls look pretty dangerous.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
