I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
