he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
