i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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