it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
