You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
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