Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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