Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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