And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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