I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
