Non-Jews are for practice
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
