you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
