2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
