time to smoke my breakfast
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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