so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
