So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
