Swine flu. Run for my life!
farters have to be the big spoon...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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