I am puke
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Randomize
