He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
