I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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