It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
