i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize