Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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