You made me cry and you don't even care
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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