shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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