The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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