i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
