i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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