I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
