Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
