what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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