I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
