Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The best revenge is premature balding
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
